This husband of mine

I am seriously so stinking proud of my husband.  He has been taking ESL classes for the past year, and his English has improved soooo much.  The guy speaks 6 languages other than English, so go figure that he would catch on quickly with English.  That's not so much why I'm proud of him, though. Before enrolling in ESL classes, he hadn't been in school since he was 9 or 10 years old.  I can't even imagine the struggles he has been through the past year or so--coming to a completely foreign country, adjusting to the many cultural differences, getting married (3x :) ), numerous health hiccups, me getting pregnant, and on top of all of this, he's been learning how to learn again. He's seriously had to learn how to write papers, how to do homework, how to research, etc, and he's handled it like a champ. So, so, so proud.

Things not to say to someone due any day

"How are you feeling?" This is ok, but it is not ok when followed with a head tilt and an overly sympathetic tone. If I'm not doubled over in pain, just assume that I'm not in labor.

"Oh, still no baby?" This question can be asked in a variety of different ways.  "Oh, you're still here (at work)" is virtually the same question.  Again-the head tilt and tone makes it worse, but this one is pretty much never ok. Does it still look like I have a basketball under my shirt? Yes? Then, don't ask the F'ing question.

"Oh, you still have a ways to go." Just don't even talk to me.

"Enjoy your sleep now because you won't be getting any rest for months."  Who's sleeping? I haven't slept more than 3 hours per night for the past two weeks. Might as well get the kid out of me so that I have a cute little bundle to love on while I'm not sleeping. 

I know people are trying to be supportive, but when you hear the same comments 30+ times a day, it gets old. Yes, I know the kid could be here any day. Yes, I'm anxious. Yes, I'm hormonal. Yes, I'm exhausted. Ok? Ok. Sorry for the rant, but really. 

News

No, no baby yet. Hoping that this kid comes out soon because I'm starting to get uncomfortable. Sorry for the lack of updates, but we don't have Internet at our new apartment yet. I promise to update soon!

"You've definitely started to waddle."

"It looks like you have to go to the bathroom when you walk."

Two especially lovely quotes from Lamine yesterday.  

Exhausted

We moved yesterday, and I am beyond tired today. I'll try to put up some pictures of our box-filled apartment later.  I already love living there. 

Confession

Even though I'm about 37 weeks pregnant, I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm going to be someone's mom.  I know, in principle, that I'm going to have a baby, and I know Lamine is going to be this little guy's dad.  But me? A mom? No....Not possible.

Another confession?  It makes me really uncomfortable when people jokingly call me "Mom."  For some reason, I don't mind it in French, Wolof, or Manding, but I think it's because those aren't my first languages that I'm somehow removed from it for now.  It reminds me of when I first told Lamine that I loved him. I said it in French, but then I immediately followed it with English because it felt more real, more significant to me.  After a while, the French and Manding "I love you's" took on their own significant meaning, but it took a little while. I needed to settle into it first.  Maybe it's the same way with this whole mom thing. I think it'll take a while for me to settle into it before it becomes real.

Dear Baby Boy,

It's been snowing like crazy, and I'm starting to worry about when you'll decide to show up.  I'm excited to meet you, but please don't come in the middle of a blizzard.  There are so many things to do before you come.  We still need to finish packing, cleaning, moving, and unpacking.  So, please, hang in there for just a little while longer. 

Presents for Thomas!

When we were in Portland last month, we visited a large outdoor market where we ran into a Senegalese man selling Bob Marley gear.  He had this cute little onesie that said "B is for Bob."  I asked him about the price, but at $22, there was no way I was going to purchase it.  Anyway, Lamine and him really hit it off and have talked frequently this past month or so.  Turns out, he remembered that I liked this onesie and today, we got this in the mail:

Yay! He also sent us a couple of scarves and a couple of nice, warm hats for Lamine.  We also received a flag of Jamaica with a huge Bob Marley face on it....Let's just say that I'm less than excited about the flag and may find a way for it to be "damaged in the wash."

Nine months

Well, I'm officially nine months pregnant today. Eek! I kind of had a panic attack yesterday. I realized that in one week I'll officially be full term. That means that this baby could come at basically any time. I'm freaking out a little. This kid has to come out sooner or later, and I'm just starting to realize that it might be sooner than later....

Breaking the Bank

Having a baby is going to make sticking to a budget difficult. We've received pretty much everything we need for the baby from generous family and friends, but when I see stuff like this

 and this,

and this,

and

I think I'm going to have trouble not going nuts. Oh, and I apparently have a thing for stripes.

Eid Mubarak!

To anyone celebrating Eid today, Eid Mubarak!

I haven't really talked here about the fact that Lamine is Muslim---or, for that matter, the fact that I am not.  I have received so many questions from people concerned about our different faiths.  Most of the time I don't mind it. I try to use it as an opportunity for people to see the Islam isn't this awful, hate-filled religion.  In my opinion, it's pretty hard to hold on to that mindset when you meet people like Lamine.  Lamine is one of the most patient and most generous human beings I've ever met, and I'm so proud to be married to this amazing man.  If being Muslim gives him the strength to be all of those things, then more power to him.

Senegal also has a great tradition of religious tolerance.  The country is predominately Muslim, but about 10% of the population is Catholic, and they have never had a religious conflict.  The two religions celebrate one anther's holidays  and support each other in practicing their chosen religion.  While I was in Senegal, I was so blown away by this.  There was never a Catholic vs. Muslim issue. Everyone lived together and respected one another. 

A lot of people have also expressed concern about what religion our child will be raised.  The answer to that question is Muslim.  Why? Well, I haven't really practiced a specific religion in years. I do believe in God, and I pray frequently, but I don't participate in any specific religious community.  Also, I believe that there is beauty (and ugliness, for that matter), to be found in most religions.

Lamine doesn't mind that I think this way. He does believe that everyone should have a belief in God, but he doesn't mind if that belief is Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc. He does, however, really want his children to be raised Muslim.  If they later choose a different religion, that is there choice, but they will be raised participating in Muslim holidays, etc.There are many reasons why I don't have a problem with our child being raised Muslim, but if our son turns out to be as sweet, kind, loving, and tolerant as Lamine, then I have no right to complain. I will be beyond proud.



Well, this has become a lengthy post. Excuse me if I rambled. I'm a little tired and this post is probably not very coherent, but I wanted to share something today.


 Also-I can just imagine our son alongside Lamine next Tabaski (Eid) like this little guy is :)

coming home outfit?

I haven't given much thought to this. Ok-I've given no thought to this.  But, I was wondering around the mall yesterday (without buying anything), and I found these cute little outfits for newborns at Old Navy.

How cute is this? And it's warm, fleecy material that will keep him warm in this crazy weather.

Speaking of crazy weather-we had an insane storm here last night-85 mph winds and 7500 people out of power in our town.  Too bad it didn't go out at work...

Language

A lot of people have asked us what or how many languages our son will speak.  Lamine speaks 7 or 8 languages, and I speak 2-ish (English, French, and smatterings of a couple Senegalese languages).  Honestly, I'm not really sure about the answer to this question. Senegal has, I believe, 18 official languages.

Lamine and I mostly speak French with one another, though we're trying to be better about speaking English.  So, I'm sure he'll speak at least French and English.  Lamine has also been trying to teach me Manding, but I've honestly been a terrible student and haven't picked up very much. In any case, Lamine plans on speaking Manding with our son, so I better start picking up more.  I have a feeling he'll also speak Wolof since every time he talks with his family in Senegal, it comes out as a Manding/Wolof/French hybrid.  Who knows. I'm not too concerned about it.  Some people have warned us about language confusion, but Lamine turned out all right and he had many more languages bouncing aroud than our son will. 

Lucky

When Lamine and I were doing the whole long distance thing while waiting for the visa, we would talk for as long as we possibly could every day, but at 25 cents a minute, it was never long enough.  We would write each other little letters throughout each day, and every couple weeks we would receive thick wads of little bits of paper with scribbled love notes.

I was bar tending for several months of this time, and I would write notes on the back of my orders.  One side of the paper would say "Grey Goose Mart. xtra dry, Cutty S. dble, Tang. G&T" and the other side would have my sloppily written notes-usually dreams of our future and what it would be like when we could be together again.

A couple days ago, as I was cleaning, I found my old order booklet and in one of the pockets, I found an unfinished love note. In this note, I told him how I couldn't wait for him to be able to come to the United States and how I couldn't wait to hold hands with him while walking down the street.

This morning, as we walked to work hand in hand, I felt so lucky and so blessed.

It's official

We're moving!  I'm really excited for the move, but I'm still a little sad to be leaving our apartment. It's the first place that Lamine and I lived in together. While we were waiting for him get his visa (9 months that dragged and dragged), I spent so much time dreaming about what our life would be like in that apartment.  I imagined us waking up together everyday, us getting ready for school/work together, cooking meals together, etc. Mostly, I was just so excited over the thought of the whole long distance hell ending.  And, now, he is here, and we've had a beautiful year or so in this apartment.

Learning to negotiate

I'm kind of a push over. I'm not very good with putting my foot down.  This makes the whole subleasing negotiation a little more difficult.  We need to be in the new apartment December 01, and we would like need someone to take over our lease on December 01 and pay December's rent. We can't afford to pay rent on two places.  The problem with this is that most people don't want to move in until January.  Trying to talk someone into paying December's rent stresses me out.

Oddly enough, I rocked at bargaining in Senegal.  I was better at Lamine than bargaining with taxis (no joke-he agrees with me).  I don't know why I'm having a hard time with this.  This morning, though, I  basically pitted two different people who are interested in the apartment against each other, and I got exactly what I wanted---someone who will pay all of December's rent and they won't actually be in the apartment until January. Woot-woot!

Moving when your 8 1/2 months pregnant.

Yes, really. I can't believe that we decided that this would be a good idea. Did I not just read my own post? Ugh. Well, we're probably moving. And I am really excited about this new place. It has two bedrooms, a dishwasher, a washer dryer, a back deck, and a garden. And-it's within our price range. I love it, but I can't believe that we're taking on this task right now. I'm going to talk with our rental company today and discuss subleasing our current apartment.  So, here it goes....

overwhelmed

So, I've been feeling a little overwhelmed by everything lately. There's just so much to do, and it feels like things are simultaneously coming together/falling apart, and I don't know what to make of it. Lamine, who kind of failed on the anniversary front (more on this later), has really stepped up to the plate and become the constant Stephanie-cheerer-upper.  This basically dwindles down to lots of back massages, cooking dinner and cleaning the house, and lots of "I love you's."  I'm feeling very pampered, and it's not too shabby. 

Chili Cheese Fritos

My morning sickness (which lasted until about week 26) has come back. Come on! Really? The only thing I can manage to stomach in the mornings-don't even ask my how-are these bad boys:

Body after Baby

So, I haven't really thought much about getting back in shape after the baby.  I've struggled with body image issues in the past, but I'm just really not worried about it.  At all. I know that my body will eventually go back to normal or will develop a new kind of normal.  That being said, I have planned on getting something called the Belly Bandit or something similar. 

A lot of cultures wrap a woman's stomach after childbirth to help muscles go back to where they were.  I know it's not going to help me lose 20 lbs, but that's not what it's for, either.  A few days ago, though, I saw something that you use to wrap your hips after childbirth.

Seriously? How many wraps do I need? The pictures in the ad (I know, I know, it's an advertisement) showed the before and after of a woman's pelvis with or without the wrap, and it's a pretty big difference. I don't know.  I don't want to feel like a mummy right after birth, but they say you only have about 8 weeks for these things to be super effective. Ugh. Who knows.  

I have been watching/listening to this all day....

yesterday and today....Seriously. I know it's Taylor Swift, but it's still sweet.

One Year Ago....

Lamine and I were married in a perfect, little ceremony in the early, autumn afternoon.  The only guests were my parents, my sister, and my grandmother.

We said the vows along with the justice of the peace, then exchanged our own in French.

After the ceremony, we shared a turkey sandwich in the back of my parents' car before returning home for the "reception."  We cut the cake and share our first dance.

And I threw the bouquet....

...which, between my grandmother and my sister, my sister caught.  All, in all, it was the perfect, intimate ceremony and after party.

I am so grateful for this past year. Lamine and I have had a more exciting year than anticipated-complete with baby on the way! But, it has been a wonderful year nonetheless.  Nkiema, Neeh Kanu ba ke le.

Look How Snazzy

my blog looks! I always do this with new bits of technology-ok, I know blogging isn't exactly new. I'm going to try to stick with this, though. Unlike my facebook page which has been sadly neglected for who knows how long.

after the baby....

For those of you who don't know (not that this needs to be public knowledge, I guess), this pregnancy was a big 'ol surprise.  In no place in my mind did I imagine that the past year would be so nuts. I won't bore you with all the details, but trust me. We've had quite the year.

All of this to say that last year, when I imagined this year, I did not imagine a baby.  I imagined that I would be working and applying to graduate schools and living happily with Lamine. So far, two out of three.  I still really want to go to grad school, though, and the deadline for applications is approaching in January.  I've been wanting to apply to the Masters of Social Work Program at BSU in Lewiston (only about 45 minutes away) because they offer a part-time program where you can take classes in the evenings and on weekends. Perfect!

Today, though, I e-mailed the site coordinator a quick question, and I found out that they won't be offering the part-time option until 2012 or 2013! If I wanted to attend the program in Lewiston or Coeur d'Alene, I'd need to have a BA in Social Work, which I don't.  I don't know what to do. Maybe I'm crazy for thinking this way, but I'm afraid that I'll feel like I'm standing still next year--like I'm not moving towards any of my goals.  All of this makes me feel about like this:

I should explain that I have this fear of settling...of becoming comfortable in the security of my job and being too afraid to take the risks that may be necessary in order to be truly happy...In the same breath, I'm also terrified of not being able to pay the bills and of not being able to provide for Lamine and myself and the baby and I just don't know how to find the balance between these two fears.

The issue of race....

isn't mentioned much in our house. We do, of course, realize that we are not the same color

but we've just never seen it as much of an issue.  We are aware of the stares and glances that we sometimes get walking down the street in small town Idaho, but we usually just brush it off. We love one another, and race honestly seems like the least of our differences when you consider that we are also from different cultural and religious backgrounds. 

Today, though, I was reminded that not everyone thinks the same way we do.  I was walking into my apartment building today while talking on the phone, and our upstair neighbor's window opened.  He yelled out "How you doin?" and I responded with a slight wave a roll of the eyes while I continued talking.  He then yelled out, "Don't hate me because I'm white."  I hung up the phone, entered my apartment, and started fuming and shaking.  I know he has seen Lamine and I enter the building together and that it wasn't a dismissive comment.  I went outside when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and I did confront them as calmly and respectfully as I could. They did apologize, but I still can't shake it.  This is the first time that anyone here has said anything directly to one of us. 

Lamine has been out with some friends all day, and he stopped by the apartment for just a moment before running out the door again. I gave him a big hug and told him how proud I am to be his wife. I didn't tell him what happened, and I might not ever tell him about this incident, but it makes me sad to think that there are people out there (and nearby) that think that way.  I am so proud, though, to be married to this beautiful, sweet, kind, generous, patient man. 



Baby Shower: Part II

Ok, I'm following up with some pictures.  First of all-check out how cute the shower was set up: 

And, as promised, the fabric that Heather bought us.  I think I forgot to mention that this is traditional West African Wax fabric that you see all over the place in Senegal-where Lamine is from.

It's so beautiful, and I can't wait to turn this into a blanket for le petit capitain.  And the onesie that Dominica bought us:

Apparently there is an ice cream shop in Whitefish, Montana where they sell all sorts unique ice creams (and apparently baby clothes) such as chocolate with bacon???? It doesn't sound too great, but the next time we're in the area, I'm going to have to try it out.  Here's one last picture with some of the wonderful items we received at the shower.  Thanks, everyone!

Baby Shower! Part I

So, on Saturday, My lovely sister Melissa:

threw me an AWESOME baby shower! The shower was originally supposed to be in Nampa, but after the car accident, I really wasn't up to driving six hours on Friday night and then another six hours on Sunday.  Melissa was so sweet and flexible and willing to improvise the shower.  We just had a few close friends (i.e. Heather and Dominica) come over, and we ate some delicious cupcakes and hung out at Melissa and Bryce's apartment.  The whole thing was just adorable.  Melissa set out baby bottles filled with M&M's and jars filled with sunflowers and wrapped in colorful cloth diapers.

She also bought me these beautiful gifts:

yes, it's in French!  which-for those who don't know, is the language that Lamine and I spoke (and still usually fall back on) when we were falling in love in Senegal and over the phone.  And....

and this is to give you an idea of what she did with the baby bottles-so cute!

My friend Heather, also got us this AMAZING fabric that I'm going to use to make the little guy's crib comforter.  This isn't the exact fabric, but it has the same colors, and I'll post an exact picture tonight. 

So pretty!  And Dominica got us the sweetest little onesie.  I'll post more pictures tonight, but I just had to give a little taste!

vanishing ribs

This morning, I attempted to show Lamine how the baby was kicking me in the ribs.  "He's kicking me right here," I said, "right beneath my ribs." I tried to poke the lowest part of my ribs only to discover....they have completely vanished underneath my pregnant stomach. Fun times.

My friend and co-worker Mary Ellen and I found out we were both pregnant when we were both about 10 weeks along (well, we knew we were pregnant, but we discovered the pregnancies of one another).  Our due dates were five dates apart (hers five days before mine), and we have been able to discuss the oddities of pregnancy along with the excitement and anxiousness that comes along with this process.  Last week, Mary Ellen was admitted to the hospital with high blood pressure and she delivered a beautiful (well, I'm sure she's beautiful) little girl yesterday evening.  Everyone is doing well, and although their little girl will need to develop a little while longer in the hospital, she seems to be healthy.  I've received all of this information off of Mary Ellen's blog early this morning, so I hope she doesn't mind me announcing her news.

I am so happy that everyone is doing well, but I am also struck by the fact that she actually has a little baby girl....right now. I know logically  that at the end of this whole pregnancy deal I will have a baby, but sometimes it's difficult to really wrap my mind around it.  I can't believe that someday not too far off I'm going to meet this little creature who is busy kicking me in the ribs and who has recently discovered how to stick random body parts out of my stomach to create odd bulges and bumps.  Pretty crazy.....

And....Look how cute!

So, I had an ultrasound yesterday to make sure everything was ok with the baby and....Look how cute he is!

Ok, forgive the pictures of pictures, but it was amazing how much detail we could see. And I apologize if I'm already turning into one of those people who think that their ugly baby is the cutest thing in the world.

The last two are of his face, by the way.  My mom said these pictures were scary-looking, but I'm not buying it.

The Beach

Well, Lamine and I had a nice time at the beach.  It was beautiful.

We were lucky and had good weather the whole time.  I'll have to write more about this vacation later, because it really was great. 

On the way home from this fantastic vacation, though, Lamine and I were in a pretty serious car accident.  Short version:  We were driving down the freeway at about 65 mph.  Our car (our beautiful, new car) flipped five times up an embankment and back down. I won't write much about this right now because I'm still pretty shaken up, but we are both doing well, and the baby is doing well.  We both realize how lucky we are that we are all ok.  I've been an emotional wreck the last few days. I was in a serious accident (a rollover as well) in my freshman year of college, but it was so different this time.  I keep thinking what could happened to Lamine or the baby. Thank god we're all ok. I feel so blessed.

 I'll  leave things on a happier note with more pictures of our vacation.

Me. There's fudge and a candied apple in that bag. Yummmm....

The Pacific!!!!

Eating out together.

Well, that's all for now.

Going on vacation!

Yay! Lamine and I are going on vacation tomorrow.  A real vacation.  We've had little get aways since we've been married, but it's mostly been to visit family and friends and organize weddings, etc.  This will be the first time that it will be just the two of us.  We will be stopping to see our friend Christine in Portland for a day or two, but we are spending two nights at the Oregon Coast. Just Lamine and me.  It's kind of a belated honeymoon/last chance get-a-away before the baby is born/anniversary celebration.  I kind of wish we had been able to do this earlier in my pregnancy, but we are both very appreciative of this opportunity and very aware that this is probably the last time in a long time that we will be able to do something like this with just the two of us.  We may go to the Oregon Coast next year, and it will be wonderful, but it will be very different having a baby in tow.  It'll be a new kind of exciting.  For now, though, we're going to enjoy this weekend to the fullest.

We have a new car! A beautiful, orange, new car! We love it so much, and I can't wait for us to take it on a drive together (I arrived at work early this morning and Lamine wasn't up in time to go to work with me).

On a side note-Lamine's tooth chipped this morning, and I had a royal breakdown. I'm not sure why, but everything suddenly seemed overwhelming and impossible.  It took me a couple hours, but I think I've managed to put my head on somewhat straight again.

We've had quite a bit happen this past year, but I need to remind myself how very lucky we are. We are together, neither of us has a terminal or life-threatening disease, we're having a baby boy, and we are happy. That's a lot right there-never mind the fact that we also have a beautiful new orange car to cruise around in and the fact that we're getting away to the Oregon coast this weekend.  So thankful for the chance to vacation to this beautiful  spot.

Bedding Dilemna

So, a little while ago, I showed you the link to this awesome woman's site for a custom baby quilt.  The problem is....There are too many choices! I can't decide which fabric choices I like.  So, I'm going to show you some of the options. Well, two of the options.

Option number one (I'm leaning more towards this one):

Nice color combination-right?







Ok.  Now the next color combination is this.  Now, this is easier to picture because it's already done:

Now, both are super cute, but I'm leaning towards the top combination because it's just so bright and cheerful, and I think Lamine would prefer that one vs. the bottom one. That being said, I love them both. What do you think?

Crocheting and the Ever Growing Belly

Yay!  I got the PDF file to crochet the cute little things I showed you earlier.  I'm starting with the teddy bear hat because that seemed like the easiest.  We'll see! I'm excited to start tomorrow.  I picked up some yarn that is a little lighter than what I showed in the pictures.  Yay for 40% off coupons at Michael's.

Also-as indicated in the title-my stomach feels huge today. I'm starting to really feel pregnant.  I had tons of morning sickness for months which should have made me feel pregnant, but now I'm really starting to feel pregnant.  I make noises when I get up or sit down, and my feet and back hurt by the end of the day.  And still 12 1/2 weeks to go.  It seems like such a short amount of time, and I'm starting to get nervous.

home

Well, I wasn't feeling well today, so I am at home. I think was just dehydrated, but I wanted to take it easy to play it safe.

Anyway...I'm lying down at home and was listening to some quiet music, and I put one of the headphones on my stomach. The baby started kicking and moving with the music and has been going at it for a while. Not sure if that means he likes it or is trying to get away from it....

One Year

Today is one year since Lamine first arrived in the United States.  This year has been absolutely nuts, but it's been pretty wonderful as well. While there are aspects of this past year that have been difficult, it's also been a beautiful year of being together.  We've been through a lot this year, but I think that just means that we'll be better equipped to handle whatever may come our way in the coming years.  Lamine said that he hoped this next year would be the best year of our lives. I'm not so sure that I want to have the best year of our lives be over and done with already. But I do hope that this next year will be more beautiful and wonderful than the year before.

Winter cuteness

So, while I'm happy to be having a boy, there are so many cute girl clothes and not as many cute options for boys.  However, I found tons of cute wintry things that would be so cute for little boys. So, I've decided to take up crocheting. I mean, who wouldn't when you could make cute things like these?

And....

And.....

All from Polka Dot Posh.

So cute!

more nursery

So, more on the nursery.  Picture inspiration

                    So, the blanket I showed you earlier kind of has this nice airy, yellowy feel while still appeasing Lamine's love of blue.  The little circles off on the other side of the wall, though? I love the multi-colorfulness  of it!  Leading to me finding this decal....

           How cute would this be above the crib? And they're removable!