Exhausted

We moved yesterday, and I am beyond tired today. I'll try to put up some pictures of our box-filled apartment later.  I already love living there. 

Confession

Even though I'm about 37 weeks pregnant, I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm going to be someone's mom.  I know, in principle, that I'm going to have a baby, and I know Lamine is going to be this little guy's dad.  But me? A mom? No....Not possible.

Another confession?  It makes me really uncomfortable when people jokingly call me "Mom."  For some reason, I don't mind it in French, Wolof, or Manding, but I think it's because those aren't my first languages that I'm somehow removed from it for now.  It reminds me of when I first told Lamine that I loved him. I said it in French, but then I immediately followed it with English because it felt more real, more significant to me.  After a while, the French and Manding "I love you's" took on their own significant meaning, but it took a little while. I needed to settle into it first.  Maybe it's the same way with this whole mom thing. I think it'll take a while for me to settle into it before it becomes real.

Dear Baby Boy,

It's been snowing like crazy, and I'm starting to worry about when you'll decide to show up.  I'm excited to meet you, but please don't come in the middle of a blizzard.  There are so many things to do before you come.  We still need to finish packing, cleaning, moving, and unpacking.  So, please, hang in there for just a little while longer. 

Presents for Thomas!

When we were in Portland last month, we visited a large outdoor market where we ran into a Senegalese man selling Bob Marley gear.  He had this cute little onesie that said "B is for Bob."  I asked him about the price, but at $22, there was no way I was going to purchase it.  Anyway, Lamine and him really hit it off and have talked frequently this past month or so.  Turns out, he remembered that I liked this onesie and today, we got this in the mail:

Yay! He also sent us a couple of scarves and a couple of nice, warm hats for Lamine.  We also received a flag of Jamaica with a huge Bob Marley face on it....Let's just say that I'm less than excited about the flag and may find a way for it to be "damaged in the wash."

Nine months

Well, I'm officially nine months pregnant today. Eek! I kind of had a panic attack yesterday. I realized that in one week I'll officially be full term. That means that this baby could come at basically any time. I'm freaking out a little. This kid has to come out sooner or later, and I'm just starting to realize that it might be sooner than later....

Breaking the Bank

Having a baby is going to make sticking to a budget difficult. We've received pretty much everything we need for the baby from generous family and friends, but when I see stuff like this

 and this,

and this,

and

I think I'm going to have trouble not going nuts. Oh, and I apparently have a thing for stripes.

Eid Mubarak!

To anyone celebrating Eid today, Eid Mubarak!

I haven't really talked here about the fact that Lamine is Muslim---or, for that matter, the fact that I am not.  I have received so many questions from people concerned about our different faiths.  Most of the time I don't mind it. I try to use it as an opportunity for people to see the Islam isn't this awful, hate-filled religion.  In my opinion, it's pretty hard to hold on to that mindset when you meet people like Lamine.  Lamine is one of the most patient and most generous human beings I've ever met, and I'm so proud to be married to this amazing man.  If being Muslim gives him the strength to be all of those things, then more power to him.

Senegal also has a great tradition of religious tolerance.  The country is predominately Muslim, but about 10% of the population is Catholic, and they have never had a religious conflict.  The two religions celebrate one anther's holidays  and support each other in practicing their chosen religion.  While I was in Senegal, I was so blown away by this.  There was never a Catholic vs. Muslim issue. Everyone lived together and respected one another. 

A lot of people have also expressed concern about what religion our child will be raised.  The answer to that question is Muslim.  Why? Well, I haven't really practiced a specific religion in years. I do believe in God, and I pray frequently, but I don't participate in any specific religious community.  Also, I believe that there is beauty (and ugliness, for that matter), to be found in most religions.

Lamine doesn't mind that I think this way. He does believe that everyone should have a belief in God, but he doesn't mind if that belief is Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc. He does, however, really want his children to be raised Muslim.  If they later choose a different religion, that is there choice, but they will be raised participating in Muslim holidays, etc.There are many reasons why I don't have a problem with our child being raised Muslim, but if our son turns out to be as sweet, kind, loving, and tolerant as Lamine, then I have no right to complain. I will be beyond proud.



Well, this has become a lengthy post. Excuse me if I rambled. I'm a little tired and this post is probably not very coherent, but I wanted to share something today.


 Also-I can just imagine our son alongside Lamine next Tabaski (Eid) like this little guy is :)

coming home outfit?

I haven't given much thought to this. Ok-I've given no thought to this.  But, I was wondering around the mall yesterday (without buying anything), and I found these cute little outfits for newborns at Old Navy.

How cute is this? And it's warm, fleecy material that will keep him warm in this crazy weather.

Speaking of crazy weather-we had an insane storm here last night-85 mph winds and 7500 people out of power in our town.  Too bad it didn't go out at work...

Language

A lot of people have asked us what or how many languages our son will speak.  Lamine speaks 7 or 8 languages, and I speak 2-ish (English, French, and smatterings of a couple Senegalese languages).  Honestly, I'm not really sure about the answer to this question. Senegal has, I believe, 18 official languages.

Lamine and I mostly speak French with one another, though we're trying to be better about speaking English.  So, I'm sure he'll speak at least French and English.  Lamine has also been trying to teach me Manding, but I've honestly been a terrible student and haven't picked up very much. In any case, Lamine plans on speaking Manding with our son, so I better start picking up more.  I have a feeling he'll also speak Wolof since every time he talks with his family in Senegal, it comes out as a Manding/Wolof/French hybrid.  Who knows. I'm not too concerned about it.  Some people have warned us about language confusion, but Lamine turned out all right and he had many more languages bouncing aroud than our son will. 

Lucky

When Lamine and I were doing the whole long distance thing while waiting for the visa, we would talk for as long as we possibly could every day, but at 25 cents a minute, it was never long enough.  We would write each other little letters throughout each day, and every couple weeks we would receive thick wads of little bits of paper with scribbled love notes.

I was bar tending for several months of this time, and I would write notes on the back of my orders.  One side of the paper would say "Grey Goose Mart. xtra dry, Cutty S. dble, Tang. G&T" and the other side would have my sloppily written notes-usually dreams of our future and what it would be like when we could be together again.

A couple days ago, as I was cleaning, I found my old order booklet and in one of the pockets, I found an unfinished love note. In this note, I told him how I couldn't wait for him to be able to come to the United States and how I couldn't wait to hold hands with him while walking down the street.

This morning, as we walked to work hand in hand, I felt so lucky and so blessed.

It's official

We're moving!  I'm really excited for the move, but I'm still a little sad to be leaving our apartment. It's the first place that Lamine and I lived in together. While we were waiting for him get his visa (9 months that dragged and dragged), I spent so much time dreaming about what our life would be like in that apartment.  I imagined us waking up together everyday, us getting ready for school/work together, cooking meals together, etc. Mostly, I was just so excited over the thought of the whole long distance hell ending.  And, now, he is here, and we've had a beautiful year or so in this apartment.

Learning to negotiate

I'm kind of a push over. I'm not very good with putting my foot down.  This makes the whole subleasing negotiation a little more difficult.  We need to be in the new apartment December 01, and we would like need someone to take over our lease on December 01 and pay December's rent. We can't afford to pay rent on two places.  The problem with this is that most people don't want to move in until January.  Trying to talk someone into paying December's rent stresses me out.

Oddly enough, I rocked at bargaining in Senegal.  I was better at Lamine than bargaining with taxis (no joke-he agrees with me).  I don't know why I'm having a hard time with this.  This morning, though, I  basically pitted two different people who are interested in the apartment against each other, and I got exactly what I wanted---someone who will pay all of December's rent and they won't actually be in the apartment until January. Woot-woot!

Moving when your 8 1/2 months pregnant.

Yes, really. I can't believe that we decided that this would be a good idea. Did I not just read my own post? Ugh. Well, we're probably moving. And I am really excited about this new place. It has two bedrooms, a dishwasher, a washer dryer, a back deck, and a garden. And-it's within our price range. I love it, but I can't believe that we're taking on this task right now. I'm going to talk with our rental company today and discuss subleasing our current apartment.  So, here it goes....

overwhelmed

So, I've been feeling a little overwhelmed by everything lately. There's just so much to do, and it feels like things are simultaneously coming together/falling apart, and I don't know what to make of it. Lamine, who kind of failed on the anniversary front (more on this later), has really stepped up to the plate and become the constant Stephanie-cheerer-upper.  This basically dwindles down to lots of back massages, cooking dinner and cleaning the house, and lots of "I love you's."  I'm feeling very pampered, and it's not too shabby. 

Chili Cheese Fritos

My morning sickness (which lasted until about week 26) has come back. Come on! Really? The only thing I can manage to stomach in the mornings-don't even ask my how-are these bad boys: