Seven Months

My sweet, sweet baby boy,

You are seven months old.  I'm having to hold back tears as I write this because I just can Not believe how fast Time has gone.  I look into your Eyes and I know Love as I have never known Love before. I feel as if I have been sleeping my whole life, and as your mother I am finally Awake. I am finally living.

Already, I wish I could do this over again. And that scares me.  I want those first 11 weeks back with you-when I didn't work, and I could just breathe in your scent and feel your tiny, rolly polly body against mine. I find myself wishing that I had done more with you. Wishing I had taken more pictures (as if the 3,000 + aren't enough), wishing that I had written more.  But when I go through the catalog of memories locked away in my heart, I realize that I cannot have a single regret.  I remember all the hours and days I spent with you lying against my chest-heart against heart-and I can't imagine anything better. More than anything, I just see you growing so fast and wish I could slow it down.

My sweet, sweet boy, I love you more than I thought it would ever be possible.  You are absolutely the light of my life. Today, we spent hours just staring at one another,  and I spent all my time delighting in your little grins and giggles. 

I want so many things for you darling. I want you to know only love and acceptance in your life, and my heart sometimes aches in knowing that this will not be the case.  But I hope that no matter what you encounter in the world, you will always know how much you father and I love you.  You are absolutely everything to us. 

So, happy seven months, Samory.  Please don't you grow up to fast!

Love you always,

Mama